Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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