there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
