I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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