My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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