1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
two words...techno handjob
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
