the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
