our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
