Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
