I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
