The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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