Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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