Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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