That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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