I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
