i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
