Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
