woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
