I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION