yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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