I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
