i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
