wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
