This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
