We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
