if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
