So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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