I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize