I'm jealous of your bromance
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
