you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
