Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
