Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
