is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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