she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
