I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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