WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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