had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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