Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
