What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
