Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize