All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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