...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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