Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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