Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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  (504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am... http://tfl.nu/u07k
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (563)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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  (917): So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions. http://tfl.nu/wfn7
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (454)
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  (951): View more from California

  Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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  (951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw
  Replies (64) Good night (4959) Bad night (912)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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  (646): I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback http://tfl.nu/fcgu
  Replies (22) Good night (3390) Bad night (839)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

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  (540): I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him. http://tfl.nu/377w
  Replies (31) Good night (1670) Bad night (5883)
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (957) Bad night (5245)
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  (213): View more from California

  Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.

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  (213): Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain. http://tfl.nu/121u
  Replies (3) Good night (2276) Bad night (1112)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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  (906): nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life http://tfl.nu/phhm
  Replies (7) Good night (3947) Bad night (1374)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.

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  (806): No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus. http://tfl.nu/4ptg
  Replies (18) Good night (2983) Bad night (1047)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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  (623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to. http://tfl.nu/084z
  Replies (6) Good night (2204) Bad night (504)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (337)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (276)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.

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  (703): Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/ke8h
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (1146)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

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  (202): I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL http://tfl.nu/l7q5
  Replies (9) Good night (483) Bad night (301)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me

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  (781): No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me http://tfl.nu/fnga
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (237)

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