i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.