Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm half single.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me it's the bottom half.

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  (617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx
  Replies (3) Good night (2426) Bad night (618)
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  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (948) Bad night (3294)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid

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  (614): i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid http://tfl.nu/y6qj
  Replies (44) Good night (4598) Bad night (750)
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  (896): View more from

  i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

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  (896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3492) Bad night (918)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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  (407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa
  Replies (18) Good night (1293) Bad night (9329)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4970) Bad night (1018)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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  (360): I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds... http://tfl.nu/1y93
  Replies (16) Good night (1414) Bad night (6165)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.

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  (860): I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead. http://tfl.nu/t7ti
  Replies (11) Good night (3394) Bad night (1299)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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  (503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3
  Replies (30) Good night (6925) Bad night (2899)
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  (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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  (530): My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra" http://tfl.nu/4lmh
  Replies (8) Good night (3813) Bad night (530)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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  (218): Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube? http://tfl.nu/2h8u
  Replies (7) Good night (1982) Bad night (596)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.

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  (563): smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never. http://tfl.nu/qbl5
  Replies (6) Good night (438) Bad night (699)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds

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  (865): I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds http://tfl.nu/ryhj
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (311)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??

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  (917): MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL?? http://tfl.nu/mxcy
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (376)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.

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  (519): Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome. http://tfl.nu/nhsm
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (135)

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