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• (904): View more from Florida

  How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.

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• (845): View more from New York

  She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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  17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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  Most Men Are Unaware Of These 27 Things About A Woman’s Life

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• (509): View more from Washington

  he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there

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• (646): View more from New York

  In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.

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