it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
