just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
