I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
