what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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