I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize