I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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