the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
