I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
