yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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