Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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