So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
