OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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