haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
