The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
