wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
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You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Success! We fucked roommates!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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