I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My feet surprised me
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