they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
time to smoke my breakfast
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
