If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
