i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
