There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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