The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
