My nipple is on Facebook.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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