I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
