Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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